If they develop a supersonic train, will they
give it a whistle?
Do fish ever get thirsty?
Why can't we sneeze with our eyes open?
If there were a knowledge contest, would the female
winner be called Miss Informed?
If you stick on stickers on non-stick pans, would
they stick on?
Why don't ducks duck when you shoot at them?
On a hamburger bun, why is the top bun always
bigger than the bottom one?
Why does breaking a mirror mean seven years of
bad luck when seven is a lucky number??
Can angels eat devils food cake?
If I think, and therefore I am, am I just a thought?
If ignorance is bliss, why arent more people happy?
Did you know it is impossible to lick your elbow?
Why do the numbers on the phone go one way, but
the numbers on the calculator go the other way?
Why do we tie shoes to the back of a car for newly
weds?
Is it possible to do stand-up comedy sitting down?
Is bad a bad word?
If dinosaurs had sores.........what would they
be called?
What does the T in T-Shirt really mean?
Why does the label on childrens Tylenol tell you
not to operate heavy machinery or vehicles when it's for CHILDREN!?
Why do they call front seat shotgun?
Why are all farms red?
Do bald men wash their head with soap or shampoo?
Why is there not a Channel 1 on TV?
Why are there dents in a golf ball?
Why are the obituaries found in the "living" section
of the newspaper?
How can someone be dirt poor, and another be filthy
rich?
When you put 'THE' and 'IRS' together, it forms
'THEIRS'. Coincidence? I think not?
What would happen if u put a humidifier and a
dehumdifier in the same room?
Are one handed people offended when police tell
them to put their hands up?
If you built a time machine with all new parts,
when you went back would the parts you use dissapear because they didn't exist then?
How can sweet and sour sauce be sweet and sour
at the same time?
Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will
it make a sound?
If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau,
who do you complain to?
Why do black olives come in cans and green olives
come in jars
Did Noah keep his bees in archives?
If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is
a picture of a thousand words worth?
If all the nations in the world are in debt, where
did all the money go?
If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened
to the rabbit?
What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?
What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone,
where do you tell them to go?
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the
lid of a coffin?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written
on their signs?
What do mermaids eat?
If your plan is having no plan, do you have a
plan?
If the energizer bunny attacks someone, is he
charged with battery?
If anything's possible, then is it possible that
nothing's possible?
Is atheism is a non-prophet organization?
If a baseball is hit out of the stadium, travels
completely around the world, re-enters the stadium, and is caught by a fielder, is it a home run or an out?
If a policecar, an ambulance, a fire truck and a mail
truck are all at a 4 way stop who has the right away?
Why are all farms red?
why are rubber duckies yellow when most real ducks
aren't?
Are there female leprechauns?
Do judges and lawyers do jury duty?
Do fish sleep?
Would it be possible for a solar car to travel
faster then the speed of light?
Isn't it scary that the word "therapist" is the
same as the words "the" and "rapist" put together?
Do sheep get static cling when they rub against
one another?
On a telephone, why does ABC start on the number
2 and not 1?
Do pigs pull ham strings?
Do dumped farmers get John Deere letters?
Why do radio operators say "niner" instead of
just "nine"?
Why do people say heads up when you should duck?
Why did Superman wear his briefs on the outside
of his tights?
Does anyone actually kill two birds with one stone?
Why do they call the clock where you punch your
time card called a "time" clock? Aren't all clocks "time" clocks?
Why does blow and suck mean the same thing when we describe something being crap?
Can dogs have dog days?
When a male is elected president and his wife
is called the First Lady. What would a lady's husband be called if she were elected president?
If you are born on February 29 of a leap year, when
is your birthday?
Do birds pee?
Do siamese twins pay for one ticket or two tickets
when they go to movies and concerts?
Why do they call it 2% milk, if its 2% fat, not
milk?
What do you say when someone says you're in denial,
but you're not?
If you had x-ray vision, but closed your eyes,
could you still see?
Have you ever thought what life would be like
if your name was Anonymous? You'd get credit for everything nobody wanted credit for?
If a water spins clockwise when it drains in the
northern hemisphere, and water spins counterclockwise when it drains in the southern hemisphere...which way does it spin at
the equator?
If you own a piece of land and there is an volcano
on it and it ruins a nearby town, do you have to pay for the property damage?
If you have x-ray vision, and you can see through
anything, wouldn't you see through everything and actually see nothing?
If it is a 50 mph per hour wind and you drive
your car at 50mph downwind, if you stick your head outside would you feel the wind?
Why does "closing up" a shop and "closing down"
a shop mean the same thing?
Why do they call them "Animal Crackers" when there
not even crackers...they're cookies?
How many licks does it take to get to the center
of a tootsie pop?
Have ex-cowboys become deranged?
Have ex-drycleaners become depressed?
How do you throw away a garbage can?
Why in baseball is it called the World Series
if it is only played in the U.S.A & Canada?
Why do old men have hair in their ears?
Why are things typed up but written down?
Why does caregiver and caretaker mean the same
thing?
In some books, why do they have blank pages at
the very end?
If you were on a plane going the speed of sound and
walked from the back of the plane to the front, would you be walking faster than the speed of sound?
If the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
What
does OK actually mean?
what does the K in K-mart actually stand for?
Why do we feel blue? and what color does a smurf
feel when they are down?
Why can't you eat pancakes for dinner?
Why do donuts have holes?
Why do the numbers on a phone go one way and the
numbers on the calculator go the other?
Why don't you hear thunder with heat lightning?
Do the different "M&M's"® colors taste different?
If your born at exactly midnight is your birthday
on both those days?
If you're caught "between a rock and a hard place",
is the rock not hard?
If one man says, "it was an uphill battle," and
another says, "it went downhill from there," how could they both be having troubles?
Why is it you can walk down a road, even if it
goes uphill?
Why do we say "bye bye" but not "hi hi"?
Can blind people be dyslexic when they read Braille?
How do you handcuff a one-armed man?
Why do the call the angel of death an angel if
all it does is bring pain and suffering?
Why doesn't the glue in the bottle dry up?
If Luke took a bath, would the water be lukewarm?
If an anarchist group attained political power,
would they by principle have to dissolve their own government?
If you decide that you're indecisive, which one
are you?
Why is it we have the weight of the world on our
shoulders but have to get it off our chests?
Why does everyone speak different languages and
have different accents if we all originally came from the same place?
Why do they call it a RUNNING BACK when he is
running forward?
If you tell someone they are being judgmental
aren't you being judgmental yourself?
Why do they call it your "bottom", when it's really
in the middle of your body?
How come no matter what color the liquid is the
froth is always white?
Why do British people never sound British when
they sing?
Why do they call them guidance counselors when
all counselors do is offer guidance?
Why do they call it "head over heels in love"
If our head is always over our heels?
Can a hearse driver drive a corpse in the Car
Pool lane?
Why is the name of the phobia for the fear of
long words Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?
If someone can't see, they're blind and if someone
cant hear, they're deaf, so what do you call people who can't smell?
How do they get those boats in those glass bottles?
Why would superman want to leap over the tallest
building in a single bound if he can fly?
Why is it called a TV set when there is only one?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to
be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
How did the headless horseman know where he was
going?
Why do they call it an escalator if it takes you
down?
Why is it called football when you hardly use
your feet?
How come some Little Debbie snack cakes come in
a twin pack and others are wrapped individually?
Do cows drink milk?
Can a guy named Nick have a 'nick'name?
If a person owns a piece of land do they own it
all the way down to the core of the earth?
Since we see little birdies when we just get knocked
out, what do little birdies see when they just
get knocked out??
What is a male ladybug called?
Why are semi-trucks bigger than regular trucks?
Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it actually
turns on?
If you wore a teflon suit, could you ever end
up in a sticky situation?
How fast do hotcakes sell?
If you mated a bull dog and a shitsu, would it
be called a bullshit?
Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
Does
the President have to pay taxes?
Why do they put "for indoor or outdoor use only"
on Christmas lights?
If Dracula has no reflection, how comes he always
had such a straight parting in his hair?
If an ambulance is on its way to save someone,
and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?
Why is Grape Nuts cereal called that, when it
contains neither grapes, nor nuts?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is
there a song about him?
Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way
to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?
Isn't it kind of ominous to put your tax returns
in the mail box and put up the little red flag?
What ever happened to an E grade? We have A,B,C,D,F
but no E.
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in
the freezer?
Don't you find it worrying that doctors call treating
you their "practice" ?
Do they have the word "dictionary" in the dictionary?
What do you call a female daddy long legs?
If croutons are stale bread, why do they come
in airtight packages?
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth
closed?
If a transport truck carrying a load of cars gets
into a car accident, does it increase the number of the cars in the pile-up?
In France do people just ask for toast and get
French toast? or do they have to ask for American toast?
Why is it called a "drive through" if you have
to stop?
Why does mineral water that has "trickled through
mountains for centuries" go out of date next year?
If Milli Vanilli fell in the woods, would someone
else make a sound ?
Why are SOFTballs hard?
Do vampires get AIDS?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns
the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?
Why are they called goose bumps? Do geese get
people bumps?
Why is it that lemon dishsoap is made with real
lemons, but lemon juice is artificial flavoring?
If you stole a pen from a bank then would it still be considered a bank
robbery?
Is French kissing in France just called kissing?
Why can magicians make things disappear into thin
air, but not thick air?
Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
Why is the third hand on the watch called second
hand?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic
called rush hour?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and
say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink what ever comes out"?
What do people in China call their good plates?
Can
you sentence a homeless man to house arrest?
If feathers tickle people, do they tickle birds?
Does a postman deliver his own mail?
Do the minutes on the movie boxes include the
previews, credits, and special features, or just the movie itself?
If the professor on Giligan's Island can make
a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why doesn't a chicken egg taste like chicken?
Why is it that cargo is transported by ship while
a shipment is transported by car?
Does peanut butter really have butter in it?
Do mimes watch silent movies?
Is the fear of flying groundless?
Why do people say "You scared the living daylights
out of me" when daylight is not living?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking
for the time, but people don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get
undressed if they are going to look up "there" anyway?
If somebody vanished without a trace, how do people
know they are missing?
Why are boxing rings square?
Why is it called pineapple, when's there neither
pine nor apple in it?
Why is it called eggplant, when there's no egg
in it?
Why do people never say "it's only a game" when
they're winning?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Why do birds have white poop?
Can good looking Eskimo girls be called hot?
Why is an elevator still called an elevator even
when its going down?
Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet when
you plug things into it? Shouldn't it be called an inlet.
If love is blind, how can we believe in love at
first sight?
If you accidentally ate your own tongue, what
would it taste like?
Do sore thumbs really stick out?
Why is it when your almost dead your on deaths
doorstep, but when your actually dead your not in deaths house?
Why do we scrub Down and wash Up?
What's the opposite of opposite?
If Practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect,
then why practice?
Why are toe nail clippers bigger than finger nail
clippers when your toe nails are smaller than your finger nails?
Is the opposite of "out of whack" "in whack"
If you try to fail and succeed, what did you just
do?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
Why is the blackboard green?
Why do they call it a black light when it's really
purple?
Why do hotdogs come in packs of 8 when hotdog rolls come in packs of 10?
What do you call male ballerinas?
How come the sun makes your skin darker but your
hair lighter?
If you dig a tunnel straight through the earth,
will you come out with your feet first?
Why are pennies bigger than dimes?
Did they have antiques in the olden days?
Are zebras black with white stripes, or white
with black stripes?
If Pringles are "so good that once you pop, you
can't stop" why do they come with a resealable lid?
Is a sleeping bag a nap sack?
What came first, the fruit or the color orange?
Where does the white go when the snow melts?
Can blind people see their dreams?
If there's an exception to every rule, is there
an exception to that rule?
Why do you click on start to exit Microsoft Windows?
Have you ever wondered why Trix are only for kids?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why do most cars have speedometers that go up
to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road?
Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if
afterwards it doesn't work anymore?
If Wile Coyote had enough money for all that Acme
crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If masochists like to torture themselves, wouldn't
they do it best by not torturing themselves? and if so, aren't we all masochist?
why is it called lipstick when it always comes
off?
If when people freak out they are said to be "having
a cow", when cows freak out are they said to be "having a person?"
Aren't you tired of people asking you rhetorical
questions and you don't know if they are rhetorical questions or not?
Why is a person that handles your money called
a BROKER?
Why do we leave expensive cars in the driveway, when we keep worthless junk in the garage?
why do they have handicap parking spaces in front
of they skating rings?
What happens if someone loses a lost and found
box?
Why do they call it taking a dump? Shouldn't it
be leaving a dump?
What if the hokey-pokey really is what it's all
about?
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty
dumpty is an egg?
If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Why do banks leave the door wide open but the
pens chained to the counter?
What would happen if an Irresistible Force met
an Immovable Object?
What's the difference between a wise man and a
wise guy?
If Americans throw rice at weddings, do the Chinese
throw hamburgers?
how can you chop down a tree and then chop it
up?
How can you hear yourself think?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil
is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
Is a man full of wonder a wonderful man?
Is a hot car cool or is a cool car hot?
How come thaw and unthaw mean the same thing?
If The Flintstones were B.C. and before America,
why did they have Flintstones Thanksgiving and Flintstones Christmas?
If a Man is talking in the forest and there is
no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
Why is it that when a person tells you there's
over a million stars in the universe you believe them, but if someone tells you there's wet paint somewhere, you have to touch
it to make sure?
if you fed a bee nothing but oranges, would it start making marmalade?
Why is it you get a penny for your thoughts, but
have to put in your two cents worth?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality
come from morons?
If the speed of movement is slower than the speed
of light - how fast is a moving light?
why do you get on a bus and a train but get into
a car?
Why is it good to be a Daddy's girl, but bad to
be a Momma's boy?
How can something be new and improved? if it's
new, what was it improving on?
Is Disney world the only people trap operated
by a mouse?
Why did they name that underwear company fruit
of the loom?
Why do grocery stores buy so many checkout line
registers if they only keep 3 or 4 open?
why do the ABC song, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star,
and Baa Baa Black Sheep all have the same tune?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet
soup?
How does Santa get into a house that doesn't have
a chimney?
If you get cheated by the better business bureau,
who do you complain to?
If you're in hell, and are mad at someone, where
do you tell them to go?
What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an
airplane?
What would Cheese say if they got their picture
taken?
why are turds pinched off at the end?
I know
you can be overwhelmed, and I know you can be underwhelmed, but can you just be whelmed?
If Barbie is so popular, then why do you have
to buy her friends?
Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes
out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?
If you take an oriental person and spin him around
a few times, does he become disoriented?
How come overtones and undertones are the same
thing?
What would you use to dilute water?
What should one call a male ladybird?
How can military troops be deployed if they have
never been ployed to begin with?
If you lived in Siberia and you wronged the Russians
government, where would they send you?
Why do they call it an asteroid when its outside
the hemisphere but call it a hemorrhoid when its in your ass?
If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out
her nose?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did
they go back to?
Aren't all generalizations false?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot
a mime?
Can I get arrested for running into a Fire House
yelling Movie! Movie!?
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
Could someone ever get addicted to counseling?
If so, how could you treat them?
Did Adam and Eve have navels?
Did the early settlers ever go on a camping trip?
Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he
gets mad at you?But when you take
him in a car, he sticks his head out the window!
Do fish get cramps after eating?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy
adultery?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Do one legged ducks swim in circles?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as 4's?
Does the little mermaid wear an algebra?
Does the Postmaster General need a stamp of approval?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical
situations?
How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while
quite a lot and quite a few are alike?
How can someone "draw a blank"?
How can the weather be hot as hell one day and
cold as hell another?
How can there be "self help GROUPS"?
How come Superman could stop bullets with his
chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
How come you press harder on a remote control
when you know the battery is dead?
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow
road sign?
How do you know when yogurt goes bad?
How do you know when you're out of invisible ink?
How does a shelf salesman keep his store from
looking empty?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to
work in the mornings?
How fast do you have to go to keep up with the
sun so you're never in darkness?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish
his wages?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will
it make a sound?
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around
to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
If a tree fell on a mime in the forest, would
he make a sound and would anyone care?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless
or naked?
If a woman can be a meter maid, can a man be a
meter butler?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience
sitting?
If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called
a green or a lemon called a yellow?
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
How many people thought of the Post-It note before
it was invented but just didn't have anything to jot it down on?
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges
didn't grow in it?
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year,
why are there locks on the doors?
If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles
of home, why not move 10 miles away?
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a
success?
If a bus station is where a bus stops, and a train
station is where a train stops, why do I have a work station on my desk?
If a case of the clap spreads, is it then considered
a case of the applause?
If a cat always lands on its feet, and buttered
bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of a cat?
If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar
do you believe him?
If a dog sweats through his tongue, why does he
have armpits?
If you were traveling at the speed of sound and
you turned on your radio would you be able to hear it?
If a mute child swears, does his mother make him
wash his hands with soap?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless
or naked?
If all those psychics know the winning lottery
numbers, why are they all still working?
If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called
a green or a lemon called a yellow?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call
it Fed UP?
If inert is to be stationary, what is ert?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed
to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why does
he keep doing it?
If knees were backwards, what would chairs look
like?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
If
nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby
oil come from? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't
people from Holland called Holes?
If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the
opposite of congress?
If quitters never win, and winners never quit,
who came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
If soap is used to make you clean, why does it
leave a scum?
If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing
hide and seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?
If someone invented instant water, what would
they mix it with?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens
to kill herself, is it considered a hostage situation? If superglue is so good, why doesn't it stick to the side of the tube?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why's it
still #2?
If the cops arrest a mime, do they have to tell
him he has the right to remain silent?
If the Energizer Bunny attacks someone, is it
charged with battery?
If the folks at the psychic hotlines were really
psychic, wouldn't they call you first?
If the funeral procession is at night, do folks
drive with their lights off?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the
plural of booth beeth?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians
eat?
If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes
go with sushi?
If women ran the Pentagon, would missiles and
submarines be shaped differently?
If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses,
and a pair of earrings, why don't they wear a pair of bras?
If you ate pasta and anti-pasta, would you still
be hungry?
If you bear a child, why do you have a cow?
If you can read the marking, isn't that end already
up?
If you can't drink and drive, why do you need
a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?
If you dive into a pool of dry ice, can you swim
without getting wet?
If you got into a taxi and he started driving
backwards, would the driver end up owing you money?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid
of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If you have a friend who works for the Psychic
Friends Network, should you plan a surprise birthday party for them?
If you have an open mind why don't your brains
fall out?
If you have your finger touching the rearview
mirror that says -- "objects in mirror are closer than they appear", how can that be possible?
If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will
something keep going wrong?
If you play a blank tape at full volume and have
a mime for a neighbor, will he complain?
If you put freeze-dried coffee in the microwave,
will you go back in time?
If you spend your day doing nothing, how do you
know when you're done?
If you steal a clean slate, does it go on your
record?
If you take a shower, where do you put it?
If you throw a cat out a car window does it become
kitty litter?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you
done?
If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia can you
read correctly?
If you're traveling at the speed of light and
you turn your headlights on, what happens?
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yell
at them would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?
Is a castrated pig disgruntled?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
Is it progress if a cannibal learns to eat with
a fork?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because
they taste funny?
Is there a Dr. Salt?
Isn't hot water already hot?
Can you grow birds by planting birdseed?
Just before someone gets nervous, do they experience
cocoons in their stomach?
Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Shouldn't it be called a "near hit"?
Shouldn't it be some things in moderation?
Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"?
There are 24 hours in a day, and 24 beers in a
case. Coincidence?
What came first the chicken or the egg?
What color is a chameleon on a mirror?
What color would a smurf turn if you choked it?
What did we do before the Law of Gravity was passed?
What do little birdies see when they get knocked
unconscious?
What do sheep count when they can't sleep?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal
that eats only endangered plants?
What does it mean if you break a mirror with a
rabbits foot?
What hair color do they put on the driver's license
of a bald man?
What happened to the first 6 ups?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
What happens when you call a 1-800 number collect?
What is a free gift?
Aren't all gifts free?
What is another word for "thesaurus"?
What is the speed of dark?
What part of the monkey do you use a monkey wrench
on?
What should you do when you see an endangered
animal that is eating an endangered plant?
What's another word for synonym?
When blind people go to the bathroom, how do they
know when they are done wiping their butt?
When people lose weight, where does it go?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written
on their signs?
When vultures are on their deathbed, are they
ever tempted to eat themselves?
When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top
one meant to be thrown away?
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper,
does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
When you're sending someone styrofoam, what do
you pack it in?
Where are Preparations A through G?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it
all"?
Who invented accents?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to
have an "s" in it?
Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but
book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking
is prohibited there?
Why are the cabs from the Yellow Cab Company painted
orange?
Why are there never any artist's materials in
a drawing room?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats
instead of parachutes?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why are they called 'stands' when they're made
for sitting?
Why are we afraid of falling?
Shouldn't we be afraid of the sudden stop?
Why aren't there bulletproof pants?
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why didn't Luke Skywalker tell Darth Vader to
turn to the light side of the Force?
Why do airlines call flights nonstop?
Won't they all stop eventually?
Why do bars advertise live bands?
What does a dead band sound like?
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same
thing?
If your feet smell and your nose runs, are you
built upside down?
Why do guys wear underpants?
Why do people who only eat natural foods drink
decaffeinated coffee?
Why do they call it disposable douche?
Is there a kind of douche you keep after using?
Why do they call them "apartments" when they are
all stuck together?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of
the drive-up ATM?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
Why do they sell a pound cake that only weighs
12 ounces?
Why do 'tug'boats push their barges?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why do we have hot water heaters?
Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments
in a suitcase?
Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game',
when we are already there?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Why do you weep and sniffle over a TV program and the imaginary Why does "cleave"
mean both split apart and stick together?
Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
Why does an alarm
clock "go off" when it begins ringing?
Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
Why doesn't "onomatopoeia"
sound like what it is?
Why don't you ever hear about gruntled employees?
Why don't you ever see baby pigeons?
Why
is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
Why is a women's
prison called a penal colony?
Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
Why is it called a bust, when
it stops right before the part it is named after?
Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?
Why is it called
'after dark', when it is really after light?
Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?
Why is it that when
you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? Why is it when a door is open it's ajar,
but when a jar is open it's not adoor?
Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "near miss"?
Why
is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?
Why is Mickey Mouse bigger than his dog Pluto?
Why is
the alphabet in that order?
Is it because of that song?
Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?
Don't you have to
get up to get to the tape?
Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?
Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?
Why
isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored
cat food?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol
if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
After eating, do amphibians have to wait
an hour before getting out of the water?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't
they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?
Have ex-bankers become
disinterested?
Have ex-civil lawyers been distorted?
Have ex-locomotive engineers been derailed?
Have ex-mathematicians
become dysfunctional?
Have ex-punsters been expunged?
When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you
supposed to throw the top one away?
What are those little things on the end of your shoelaces called?
Why is Bra singular and Panties plural?
If you eat regular rice crispies with chocolate
milk will it taste the same as eating co-co crispies with regular milk?
Why is there an L in NOEL?